One of the most common concerns that comes up in my coaching work with new and emerging leaders of leaders is the fear and sometimes the terror of presenting to a group of senior executives. Leader of leader roles quite often sit just below the executive team. So, as you move into these roles, you start to find yourself being called upon more and more to present to groups of executive-level leaders.
Fear is normal
Almost every new leader of leaders brings this up with me. It’s normal and healthy to find these experiences scary at first. What makes it even tougher is that your anxiety can affect your performance. Smart, confident people can suddenly get sweaty, nervous and shaky and can get brain freeze and tongue-tied. In one of my early experiences of this, I dropped a full jug of orange juice all over some slick, corporate carpet I was so anxious! (The stain remained for about six months just to remind me).
Your way-of-being
The idea of way-of-being can help you step up and be at your best in these moments. Being in touch with your way-of-being and knowing how to adapt it in the moment can transform your experience. What is your way-of-being? Your way-of-being is the overall state you are in at any moment of the day. It is how you are or feel most of the time. Somatic neuroscience is showing us that we are not simply a computer brain in a fleshy cabinet. We are very physical beings. How we experience our world and how we make sense of it comes from a continuous dynamic interplay between the language we are using (to ourselves and to others), the mood we are in, and how our body is configured. This dynamic generates our ‘in the moment’ experience. So, how can you observe and modify your way of being in the moment?
How to adapt your way-of-being
In leadership and management work we usually start by looking at what we are thinking. In the way-of-being perspective, you start with your body. Here are some tips:
- Focus on your breathing and slow it down.
- As you focus on your breathing, do an inner mental scan of your body. How are you standing or sitting? When we feel anxious our bodies constrict. So, stretch yourself out.
- Sit up straight, pull your shoulders back and push your chest out.
- Now your face; loosen the muscles in your forehead and around your eyes. Loosen the muscles around your face and let your jaw loosen and hang open slightly.
- Observe what language you are using right now. Our language creates our reality. If you say to yourself, ‘I am out of my depth’ then your body will help you out by surging more adrenaline through your body to help you swim!
- Try saying to yourself, ‘these are all just people like me’. ‘no-one has all the answers, not me or them.’
- Now your mood; language and the shaping of your body generate your mood. Language that describes future catastrophes will generate a mood of anxiety. Instead, try saying to yourself, ‘I wonder what I will learn through this experience?’ You will find this will shift your mood from anxiety to one of curiosity and even wonder.
Becoming a leader of leaders
As a leader of leader, you will find yourself in ambiguous and uncertain situations all the time. Understanding and modifying your way-of-being in the moment can help you enjoy engaging with more senior leaders and gradually transform your inner world so that you perform at your best.
To find out more about the idea of way-of-being and how to become a leader of leaders, take a look at my new book “Becoming a Leader of Leaders: how to succeed in bigger jobs and still have a life.” here.
